as servant that bestowed on natural tendency, we are really necessary poise hope. not wrong we cry to perfect husband, but at the (time) of same we also must melapang breast to get deficit. we may pegg hope, but we also necessary have asked what we have prepared so that proper accompany ideal pair.
this may not mean us may not has willing to repair our life, our household, with our pair. but, our hope ever greater is in wedding more difficulter we achieve happiness and love. on the contrary, our wedding commitment excelsior (marital commitment) more wideer road that sweeting to get kebahagian and satisfaction.
what is the difference hope and commitment? what else the influence towards our household wholeness? hope towards marriage shows what want us get in marriage. when do we have marriage hope very big, difficult for us to get what pair is existence. we always shall see him full deficit. if we get married because spellbound by the beauty, we soon shall lose love so that may not berlemah soft so our wife haven't decoyed again. how does fast and expire and how does sorrow big that be must be underwrited.
meanwhile, marriage commitment more show household likes what want us get up. alacrity to get deficit, belong mengikhlas heart gets the deficit makes us easier mensyukuri marriage.
caused by commitment very strong in allah and rasul- wife julaibib mengikhlas heart to get married with julaibib. bew last night their wedding age is julaibib ends live at martyr field. when does the mother felt bot ready to caused by dignity the low the low and physical figure obsolence, he asks so that the old person gets that proposal if really rasulul may allah bless him and give him peace. determine.
one who melapang heart to menenggang difference, inclined will find many sameness. that difference not then there is no, but fellow-feeling to menenggang difference makes us easy to see sameness and the kindness. on the contrary, we shall felt not pleasant relate to another person, not with the exception of our alive colleague, when are we busy question difference. even less if we often menyebut-nyebut, more asa that difference and more not pleasant build connection with him.
good allah protects us from question difference without mengilmui. good allah go away us from bustle that destroy. good also later mengukuh feeling tie between we are with affection, veracity, and alacrity menenggang difference. actually expire peoples before we are they destroyed because busy question difference and debate about something matters that be allah secret.
well, if question difference, menyebut-nyebut, and mengeluhkan will make distant connection, why not melapang heart to menenggang? actually menenggang difference menumbuh affection and warm love. there feeling touch all at once make happy if we give to what end he takes.
for that, there three things necessary we comprehend expecting him to trust our veracity. first, give warm attention to it. attention magnitude makes him felt us pity and we love. second accept him without condition. acceptance without condition shows that us love it heartily. not may be get him what existence if we don't have veracity loves and intention cleanliness. third, lay open with correct words.
related to this expression, there a tips ahsan that submitted by ustaz now still to teach at psychology direction, uii, yogyakarta this. that is terminology “aku” and kamu”. moment we get that dish that made our pair is for example briny, so use pronoun “aku”. “a more like if sweeter the vegetable, sayang” but moment we get a surplus in pair self, he is successful fries for example omelette egg (usually he fry encrusted), so we use pronoun “kamu”. “ka really clever, istriku”. we use word “aku” to something that in character negative and “kamu” to something that in character positive. for all matter.
apparently really true, because pronoun use “kamu” to a error that done by our pair inclined menyaran in meaning memvonis instead of memosisi our pair as defendant.
in pragmatic perspective (linguistic), this terminology is a use efforts maksim good manners permanently defend maksim cooperation. with a purpose to so that doesn't happen conflict in both.
leave from this allah instruction improper for us for busy questions deficit and or error, even less hard to lose deficit, along he doesn't do real meanness. how even also a lot not we take a fancy to from it, love with him not pale if we try to berbaik suspect to allah, perhaps on the otherhand allah gives kindness very big. on the contrary, sesedikit anything wickedness it, when are we busy menyebut-nyebut and remember it, very will stress soul. impact furthermore not only for wife husband connection, but pervade in our connection and the little.
accept him what existence. will accept the deficit with heart sincerity so we shall find to love that spring beautiful. afterwards cope to repair and doesn't demand for perfect. isn't it true that has deficit, why are we busy demand wife for perfect? there message that must we are when must we get married nursemaid. there space to mutual share. there space to mutual repair. and not mutual sigh, instead of menyebut-nyebut deficit.
comprehend the mistake expecting him to felt light in repair, although doesn't mean us then let error. give support and warmth to it so that he is berbesar heart faces challenges exist in in front of. indicate that us really very appreciate it, accept it heartily, want to understand and bouncy accompany it.
in this book ustaz fauzil really not only discuss around sincerity gets our pair whats existence. but apparently he has looked at trifling problem temeh this in some cases have come to reef enough steep then give birth to conflict seeds and instead of divorce.
like at the end, he explains to how efforts learns that not limit of get to what existence, but also followed with learn to hear obligingly. because bot rarely we not doesn't understand answer truthfully desirable at the opposite of pair question.
quite a lot unimportant matter apparently we have considerred we have given but obvious that thing far slip from guess. we don't hear pair but hear ownself, we don't give solution but even matter increase. we don't give exit instead of judge. we don't give answer, but even give question. we don't unburden but even stress. thats true?
al end, that wealth is in soul. and that wealth chip is begun from veracity gets. with our soul wealth easier will will give empathy, easier to realize, easier to share and easier hears obligingly.
today, when do we dream about a wedding mind tie temporary romantic between we and pair so brittle, has we berterima affection to it? did we apologize on our error error? if not yet, begin with apologize on our errors and lay open a calling pity to it. begin from easiest, hatta triflingest or little even if. begin from smallest, such ustaz aa leave a message. little things mean a lot, such ustaz fauzil add. so that love to spring in our family, so that love always bloomy in our life.
